Marriage Help Can Be As Simple As Keeping The Tank Full

Have you ever seen a cartoon character with a light bulb above his head? It is supposed to indicate a sudden idea or epiphany. I felt as though that light bulb was above my head recently when I stopped at the gas station to fill up my car.

What was my big, bright idea? Well, simply put, maintaining a marriage relationship, or any relationship for that matter, is not completely unlike maintaining your car. Your car needs good fuel to keep going and so does your relationship. I know, I know, it sounds kinda hokey, but let me share with you my reasoning.

Deep down inside all of us there can be found an emotional sort of fuel tank. It could aptly be called a "love tank". Just like our cars, what is put into that tank will determine not only how well we function in society but also whether we even want to continue in the function of a relationship with those that constantly feed that tank.

If your marriage is healthy, you and your spouse are constantly filling each other's tank with good, positive, acts of love...or in short, love tank fuel.

Now wait! Don't go rush out and buy some expensive gift or do something extravagant that makes the evening news. Those certainly may be good fuel, but think about this for a moment. I've owned some pretty wretched cars in my time; cars that had lots of mechanical problems. I once had an old truck that had a bad fuel gauge. What if I had only filled the tank on that old truck when I thought it might be getting close to empty? How long do you think it would take for me to accidentally run out of gas? The only way I could assure that I wouldn't be stranded on the side of the road was to top that tank off every single day.

Your partner doesn't have a visible fuel gauge. You aren't going to get a warning light or a buzzer telling you the tank in your spouse is almost on empty. You shouldn't expect to be able to get away with the occasional big ticket fill up. Work diligently on keeping that tank full with the little investments every day. A kind word, a little compliment, a loving touch, or a completely selfless act will do the trick. Consistently and persistently done, these little things will keep your spouse's love tank full and you wont find yourself with the desperate feeling of being stranded and trying to pick up the pieces.

If your marriage is unhealthy, it's almost a certainty one of two things is true. Either you didn't put anything at all into your partner's love tank, or the fuel you used was in some way contaminated.

In the fast paced world we live in today, it is so easy to get wrapped up in things that do absolutely nothing to advance our relationship with our spouse. All day long at work you try to make your employer happy. On your way home, you make yourself happy by stopping at the shopping mall or the bar or the ice cream shop. When you both finally get home, your kids are pulling you in every direction to make them happy. After dinner you once again go seperate ways for a little "me" time. Finally, at the end of the day when life has wound down, you have time to invest in each other's tank. You don't though, because now you are both still spinning from the days activities. You are only concerned with getting some sleep so you can wake up and do it all again tomorrow. Invest in your spouse first and most often. Your marriage is the most important earthly relationship you have.

Don't forget, it's not enough to just put any old fuel in the tank. When you do go to top off that tank every day, be sure to put in the good stuff. Do you intentionally put dirty gas in your car? Well then don't do that to your spouse either! Often when we do finally get around to spending time with our spouse, it's only to complain or rant about something that didn't go right in our day. That's a double whammy! First, you neglected the love of your life. Then, when you finally got around to him/her you added to the trouble with your own selfish negativity. Is it any wonder so many marriages fail? Is it any wonder so many people are left feeling stranded, confused, and alone?

Take the time and opportunity to invest in you partner's love tank. Is that tank full? Is it half full? Did you let it get nearly empty? The only way you can know for sure is to top off that tank several times a day with good quality love fuel.

Lastly, remember this. True love is not some ooey gooey feeling. Love is action. Free tips #18 and #19 at http://www.fix-a-marriage.com speak directly to this issue. We are all fond of saying we love someone, but do we really? What are the things we do that we can truly call completely selfless acts of love? Always make sure your partner's love tank is full!